“They” say “honesty is the best policy.” I agree, but tell me, what good is honesty without communication? I’ve noticed that humans intend to say or do things, and often times they simply fail to follow through. It can be argued that good intentions matter also because it’s the thought that counts, right? Eh, I beg to differ. Thoughts can’t do much for a person.
Don’t get me wrong; I know that thoughts help shape our life, but without action a thought is like a breeze that travels through the brain. Communication is an action. For whatever reason, humans have stopped communicating properly. Everybody is doing stuff, but where’s the integrity? Where’s the true connection? So many relationships fall apart due to lack luster communication.
Without communication, honesty is empty.
The most honest thing one can do to another is speak Love and truth and act it out toward them. Honesty isn’t simply failing to lie. It is choosing to show up the same way each and every time. The absence of communication invites assumptions, hurt feelings and in too many cases, broken hearts.
Many words are being spoken, but are you really saying anything?
My friends and I communicate. We share thoughts and ideas through speech and even song. We bounce things off one another. Over time, the exchange of communication has taught us to know one another. We can often read each other’s moods and emotions through communication, or the lack thereof. I see people hang out in groups and never really discuss anything. They share meals, take trips and even have children, but fail to communicate properly. We’ve become so accustomed to seeking to meet personal needs within other people and as a result I don’t believe we know exactly who it’s is we face each day.
Consider this: Man & Woman are married 40 years. They’ve raised 3 children, purchased 4 homes, and taken over 25 vacations together. They retire and suddenly face each other. The kids are grown. The job has ended. All that’s left is one man and one woman who look at each other and realize that apart from their routines, they have no idea who the other is or what they need.
Believe it or not, many couples divorce after decades of divorce for reasons such as this and site, irreconcilable differences. The harsh truth is that the man and woman were probably so busy getting married, having a career and starting a family that they missed the part where they stop and talk.
Planning is not the only form of communication a relationship needs.
Yes, we have to be responsible and steward our homes well, but this is no excuse to live years without speaking to our loved ones, and I mean really speaking to them. Let’s go beyond the surface of “How are you?” & “Call me if you need me.” Let’s take the time to sit with each other and ask questions. Let’s not be afraid of attitudes and responses and dare to get to know one another.
I bet if every married couple on earth had properly communicated in the beginning of their relationship, they wouldn’t have gotten married. I’m not hating; I’m simply stating facts. This applies to all types of relationships actually. Some of us connect to ideas. We connect to things that look good or bring certain benefits. We join clubs and embark on careers because they’re acclaimed by the culture, but shouldn’t life be more?
If you’re reading this, this is your challenge:
– Get to know yourself. Use a journal or simply sit in silence, listen to & talk to yourself. Sure ‘people’ may call you crazy, but people don’t have to live with you, you do.
– Get to know the people in your immediately family. Beyond surface details and random facts, what do you really know about them? Who are they? What makes them tick?
– Make an effort to speak up and live out the true contents of your heart. Meaning well is fine and all, but doing well is even better. A thought never saved anybody. It was the actions of God that showed His love.
I digress.
We’re gonna make it, after all!
I am Eryka
Eryka I AM 