Still

Well, I’m still here. My site may no longer be a .com, but it is still MINE. I am still ALIVE. I am still WELL. To God be the Glory!

I don’t think God expects me to be extremely happy and excited every second of every day. My biggest fear these days is failing to be grateful. I am grateful. Emotional at times & often blinded by that emotion, but I am still grateful.

God didn’t instruct me to be perfect. He simply says, Be STILL.

I am still WRITING. I am still SPEAKING. I am still BELIEVING & trying to BELIEVE. I am still HERE. And…

I am (still) Eryka

Honestly, not

“They” say “honesty is the best policy.” I agree, but tell me, what good is honesty without communication? I’ve noticed that humans intend to say or do things, and often times they simply fail to follow through. It can be argued that good intentions matter also because it’s the thought that counts, right? Eh, I beg to differ. Thoughts can’t do much for a person.

Don’t get me wrong; I know that thoughts help shape our life, but without action a thought is like a breeze that travels through the brain. Communication is an action. For whatever reason, humans have stopped communicating properly. Everybody is doing stuff, but where’s the integrity? Where’s the true connection? So many relationships fall apart due to lack luster communication.

Without communication, honesty is empty.

The most honest thing one can do to another is speak Love and truth and act it out toward them. Honesty isn’t simply failing to lie. It is choosing to show up the same way each and every time. The absence of communication invites assumptions, hurt feelings and in too many cases, broken hearts.

Many words are being spoken, but are you really saying anything?

My friends and I communicate. We share thoughts and ideas through speech and even song. We bounce things off one another. Over time, the exchange of communication has taught us to know one another. We can often read each other’s moods and emotions through communication, or the lack thereof. I see people hang out in groups and never really discuss anything. They share meals, take trips and even have children, but fail to communicate properly. We’ve become so accustomed to seeking to meet personal needs within other people and as a result I don’t believe we know exactly who it’s is we face each day.

Consider this: Man & Woman are married 40 years. They’ve raised 3 children, purchased 4 homes, and taken over 25 vacations together. They retire and suddenly face each other. The kids are grown. The job has ended. All that’s left is one man and one woman who look at each other and realize that apart from their routines, they have no idea who the other is or what they need.

Believe it or not, many couples divorce after decades of divorce for reasons such as this and site, irreconcilable differences. The harsh truth is that the man and woman were probably so busy getting married, having a career and starting a family that they missed the part where they stop and talk.

Planning is not the only form of communication a relationship needs.

Yes, we have to be responsible and steward our homes well, but this is no excuse to live years without speaking to our loved ones, and I mean really speaking to them. Let’s go beyond the surface of “How are you?” & “Call me if you need me.” Let’s take the time to sit with each other and ask questions. Let’s not be afraid of attitudes and responses and dare to get to know one another.

I bet if every married couple on earth had properly communicated in the beginning of their relationship, they wouldn’t have gotten married. I’m not hating; I’m simply stating facts. This applies to all types of relationships actually. Some of us connect to ideas. We connect to things that look good or bring certain benefits. We join clubs and embark on careers because they’re acclaimed by the culture, but shouldn’t life be more?

If you’re reading this, this is your challenge:

– Get to know yourself. Use a journal or simply sit in silence, listen to & talk to yourself. Sure ‘people’ may call you crazy, but people don’t have to live with you, you do.

– Get to know the people in your immediately family. Beyond surface details and random facts, what do you really know about them? Who are they? What makes them tick?

– Make an effort to speak up and live out the true contents of your heart. Meaning well is fine and all, but doing well is even better. A thought never saved anybody. It was the actions of God that showed His love.

I digress.

We’re gonna make it, after all!

I am Eryka

Brown, a poem

Does my dark skin frighten you?

Do I resemble midnight to you?

Pores so dark under light, they look blue.

Does my kinky hair frustrate your mind?

Why’s it so big and curly all the time?

Are you upset that when I shake my head it remains neat

Instead of cascading down the walls of my cheeks like Niagra Falls’ peak?

I am not my hair, but I wear it proud like my Crown.

I no longer run from rain drops, I reign and the pain stops – it turns my frown upside down

And there you find, my smile.

My teeth are perfect. Every one perfectly positioned.

I shine them and they glisten;

Never had a need for braces, might I mention…

And the melody that seeps from my lips speaks so loud that all must listen

“My you have a beautiful smile.” They say

“I know.” And still I pray

That in some form and in some way

I could transform and be reborn in your ways

Body made of straight lines and just shy of the ideal weight

Wealth flowing through my blood lines that make the perfect introduction to the ideal mate;

Isn’t that the ideal trait?

Thin waist and checks & balances that keep filet mignon on my plate

But wait…

In my reality, my beauty doesn’t seem to fit

The stereotypical prototypes and all that comes with

My high speed signal seems to be larger than the world’s bandwidth

So I venture off into the unknown, both wings erect and not a last look at home

I leave this place in search of where I belong

And there I find Jesus, the welcome mat to my throne.

He calls me closer than close, because I dared to double his dose

Surrendered to my Heavenly Host and now Heaven’s my Host

And I boast of Him boastfully – You might say I do the most

Not that it’s a competition but other God’s don’t even come close

I mean, Shall we cast a vote?

Who’s greater than My God? None!

Which one of your American Idols can do for you what God has done?!

I begin to speak and the lies of the enemies get weak

They told me I can’t but I know he can so I let my victories speak

The will of God reigns down from Heaven and pours out my mouth like a leak

I’m strong – not weak!

The voices of the naysayers fade to black like a stadium with no players

I’ve learned to auto tune out the shouts of anyone whose not my maker

I hold the microphone and I won’t drop it nor waiver

I’m sitting pretty in position with all this melanin flavor

The announcer on the speaker is getting stronger – not weaker;

I’m seated above the clouds not in the crowds on the bleachers

The hand of God has opened doors that no man can close because the Lord is my keeper

And these wings, these butterfly, eagle things

Supernatural transformative change bringing wings

Not made of feathers but built to weather whichever storm comes to tether this Queen

Can you feel my sting?

I am the bride of Christ. The Earth is my ring.

That’s why it’s round

So even the lost can be found

Even the insane mind is made sound

Because The Grace of Love abounds

His Grace is all around

And it sees no color

Hello, Mr. President, you too are my brother

Don’t dare attempt to treat me like the others

We come from the same dirt and call the same Earth, ‘Mother’

Don’t be frightened because my complexion is darker when instead you can be enlightened by the directions of the Father

It may be my voice that finally silences the war in your head

And it’s the blood of my Lord that flows through you though you be The Walking Dead

Has anyone heard what I’ve said?

Why are we who have been set free to live eternally living life walking dead?

No wonder they’re all afraid.

Death can’t do nothing for nobody, but Life can.

Dare to come alive In Christ? Or are you still scared?

Shall the church say, “Amen.”

I am Eryka

Truth Moment

I am a divorced woman.

I am also a college drop out.

I am almost 30 with no material possession registered in my name.

I am in a biological season science refers to as my “Sexual Peak” yet, I am celibate.

I live with my parents.

I have a “clinically diagnosed mental illness.” (Depression & Anxiety if you were wondering.”

My hormones, and my mood, fluctuate without notice.

I love to give & serve and at times have been naive which led to lots of hurt feelings.

I have a handful of acquaintances; only a few I consider friends.

I’m not hungry or naked, but I’m “poor” by many standards.

I could go on and on, but what would be the point? I can sum it up in this,

I AM STRONGER THAN ANY STRUGGLE I FACE & NO WEAPON formed against ME shall prosper – EVER!

So while the world is making lists, I am busy counting all of the times I could’ve been wiped out, but Grace rescued me. I am not here to be perfect. I am here to fulfill purpose.

“You may write me down in History with your bitter, twisted lies. You may trod me in the very dirt, but still, like dust, I’ll rise. Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you so beset with gloom; because I walk like I’ve got oil wells pumping in my living room. From “Still I Rise” by Maya Angelou.

I am Eryka.

Idol-Minded

Hosting a Podcast is very fun work! While I have the privilege of sharing my thoughts with anyone who will listen, I also have the task of setting a schedule, doing the research, and sticking to it. Consistency is hard, but as I always tell myself

“Consistency gives us the opportunity to become better.”

So, as I press on speaking up on things that matter to me, my people, and our God, I invite you to listen to the newest episode of The SOAPbox! The topic is ‘Idolatry’ but I attack it from a down-to-Earth, relatable view and hopefully it encourages someone to disconnect from things that do not serve their TRUE identity.

I mention the “Grace Cathedral” in California which has decided to house a “Music Mass” for singer, Beyonce. I have no opinions on Beyonce, as I do not know the woman, but you’ll find the articles inspiring today’s topics here and here.

As always, you can listen to NEW and OLD episodes of theSOAPbox on BuzzSprout!

Click here for Episode 05: “Idol-Minded”

I am Eryka

Not Her

I AM NOT HER!

I know this is not news to you. You are fully aware that, I Am Eryka. I am speaking to myself this time. I was not created to be Her, whoever she may be. I can only be one ‘her’ and that ‘her’ is Eryka.

Role Models are thread of childhood, in my personal opinion. What I mean is this: children are constantly looking to older people for direction and examples. A female child looks to the women around her to know how ladies are to act. If those females around her are built a certain way, chances are, that young lady will grow up and mimic a lot of what she learned from those other women. While I have been influenced and even inspired by many women in my lifetime, I had to remind myself just now that I am not them.

My legs are not her legs, therefore I do not walk as she does. My hands are attached to my arms, therefore they may not do what her hands do. I am okay with being Eryka. The issue comes when Eryka tries to immolate the actions or steps another has taken to reach a certain goal. Sure, my goals may be similar to hers, but still, I am not HER.

So what is one to do with such a revelation? It’s easy: GIVE UP THE GHOST! I officially resign from every position I have allowed myself to take as a result of my attempts to be her. She is busy living her life, doing what only she can, and I am missing out on pure, valuable, Eryka-ness when I put myself in her place.

She may have got what she needed from University. She may have married a man with all the right connections. She may even lose weight faster than I do, and her hair may grow at a speed that mine won’t ever match. And that’s OKAY! See, here’s the secret: God never asked me to be her. He never even asked me to be like her. He simply says to me each day, “Live on Purpose.”  My purpose is the greatest task and identity that I will ever find. I do not have time to waste being someone else. I recently blogged about unbecoming everything I became in my pursuit of self. It takes too much energy to unlearn old ways and undo old habits. I cannot put myself in her shoes, because I do not have her feet.

She may be quiet and easier to approach. She may not think as ferociously as I, and she surely doesn’t smile as bright as I do. Her words don’t flow from her fingertips quite the way mine do. Her voice doesn’t hit the notes that effortlessly escape through my lips. She could never, will never, and can never be me. Therefore, I must be me!

I’m bold. I know what I want. I speak to what I want. I Love fiercely. I give without thinking. I forgive intentionally. I design with passion. I am focused and dedicated to my craft. I do what I do and I get the results only I can attain. She does what she does and she gets what’s hers.

I think I like it that way. Cheers to being you!

I AM ERYKA!

the SOAPBOX Ep 04

It is no secret on this blog that I am a single woman who was once married. The process of unbecoming a married woman and learning to embrace singleness has been a journey worth documenting. That is the purpose of my blog and Podcast. Join me as I tackle the things that hold us back in life. The past has a way of reaching out to us because obviously we’re great and it wants back in, but it’s time to cut ties, for good.

I have cut ties with several things and people the past six years. It’s been bigger than the marriage, and greater than the desire to love another. Life is bigger than desires and relationships, so don’t be deceived. Your ending is not THE END. The relationship/situation/job/season had to end in order for you to progress into your DESTINY!

Listen on BuzzSprout: The Death of Divorce

Forward March!

I am Eryka 

The SOAPBOX Episode 03:Your Body is a Pearl

Hello Loves!

Episode 3 of The SOAPbox is now live on Buzzsprout! This week, I dive deep into more pearls as we discuss how your body is a pearl! No one else has as much access to you as you do, so use it wisely! Treat yourself better. Eat better. Sleep more. Take care of your body. It is your pearl!

Listen here!

Protect Your Pearls: Purpose

It is safe to say that Identity, all by itself is a jewel; so much so that there are actually thieves who specialize in taking on the identity of someone else. There are entire careers built off the ability to be someone else. It’s quite peculiar, yet amazing. Identity is like an expensive pearl. When displayed, it draws admiration, but it’s also highly coveted. If we’re not careful with such pearls, they may easily be snatched from our hands.

PURPOSE is a Pearl. Purpose is the inspiration behind your birth. See, you are more than your mom & dad’s baby. You were endorsed by Heaven which is why you are here. God had an idea attached to you before He formed you. That idea is your purpose. God decided that only you could do what He placed you here to do. Only you are connected to your territory, your family, and your identity.

Knowing that, I encourage you to Protect Your Pearls. Your identity and your purpose are keys to the very life to live. Knowing who you are leads to discovery of why you are, and thats the foundation of your individual life.

Listen here as I talk about Purpose and how commitment, consistency and continuous learning help us Protect Our Pearls. 

The truth of the matter is this: NO ONE ELSE CAN BE YOU FOR YOU, so it is up to you to be the best you possible. Start now by protecting your identity and committing to your purpose.

 

I am Eryka.