Bold. The word alone is so heavy. Bold when spoken even sounds hard. Bold. Boldness. Boldly. Bold ME.
To dream of Marriage is one thing. To take hold of it, well that's different. Two individual souls meet and immediately something communicates to each soul that the other is the one whom they were made to Love. There's attraction and desire mixed with concern and consideration all the while, the two individuals still lead their lives separately.
There are dates, long phone conversations, random video calls and sweet texts, but none of that builds trust. Faith doesn't even create trust. Faith requires trust, but boldness is what trust is really made of. It takes boldness to answer the call and show up for the first date. She has to be bold when he stares straight through her makeup and sees her true beauty instead – like when he can see your fear before you do. It takes boldness to accept the fact that he prayed for you, so he prays for you, not preys on you. Like being bold enough to stick it out when He knows it, so He says "I'm in Love with You" on the first date.
This blog post is taking so much boldness. Who knew it would take so much courage to even allow myself to be attracted to someone… It takes every inch of my confidence and strength to admit I have a strong feeling in my gut. It takes boldness to fight off the doubtful thoughts and whispers of negativity in my mind. I deserve this. I've been faithful. I've waited. God honors those who wait. The Bible is filled with scriptures about how waiting on God is beneficial.
Bold Faith. Boldly GOING into the unknown.
But I do know! God didn't give me every detail, but He gave me enough. He's told me so much over the years and He's curated my heart in such a way that I recognize this as mine. Boldness makes fear smaller. The more often I walk in boldness, the less energy I have for fear.
I have no energy for fear actually, because God didn't give me the spirit of fear.
The day I told my mom I saw the guy and that we were communicating, she immediately exclaimed that she felt this was God at work. Her advice to me was not to rush anything but to embrace what is happening.
This IS happening.
He says our Love will give HOPE to even those who Hate us. That's the entire purpose of life with God: to make those who don't know Him wish that they did.
God is faithful.
I am Eryka.