If I were pregnant…

I would play music for my baby..
Take pictures daily to document the growth..
Eat healthy & give myself the absolute best self care..
I would lie for hours with tears streaming down my face just relishing in the beauty of motherhood..
I would take a trip; just Baby & me..
I would sleep next to Mommy and try to extract some of her Super Powers..
I would strive for a natural birth..
I would knit baby blankets and onesies…

It's so easy to say what I would do, but truth is, I won't know until I'm smack dab in the middle of it. I can dream though, right?

Isn't it crazy how we can have so many emotions attached to things that haven't happened yet? The single woman plans her dream wedding. The childless woman browses baby clothes. It seems that no matter how much we have, we only see what we don't have. Maybe it's just Me.

I want to say I'm 100% content and grateful 100% of the time, but the truth of the matter is: I want more. I want more time; more space; more Love; more duty; More stuff. I only want it because I know I can have it. While that doesn't justify my desires, it does bring some clarity.

If you can see it, you can have it. God owns everything. I am His. Would He not share His everything with His own child? I think He loves to share with us; the Earth is proof.

I want what God has for Me. I want to feel every Up, down and sideways emotion that comes with every inch of everything God has for me. Love some times hurts, and I've never heard anyone call pregnancy "comfortable", but God never promised life without pain.

I welcome the pain as much as I welcome the promises. I've learned, there truly isn't one without the other. I also don't want anything that comes too easy.

I am prepared to work and strapped for battle.

I am Eryka

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